International musical act the Drums of Navarone are facing condemnation by Saudi Royal family after dancing erupted at a concert in Jeddah's Dome El Saud. "They promised to play nothing that would enflame passions," Said concert organizer Mohammed Abadi, "But everyone started to mambo!". One participant later described the event as "totally booty-shakin'".
- Saudi Intelligencer
Musical band Drums of Navarone clashed with security forces during the Petrojazz Music Festival in the Russian City of Saint Petersburg this weekend. According to witnesses, the skirmish began when the band's Bass player, Armando Cortes, accused the sound crew of running too little low-end through the system. The conflict escalated to a full scale brawl including musicians, festival organizers, audience members which included a group of orthodox nuns, one of whom claimed to be "all about that bass". The band managed to elude capture by police and military forces by hijacking a navy vessel.
- Krakow Post
Conductor of US Special Forces Green Beret Salsa Orchestra discharged after refusal to play Hail to the Chief at a recent presidential inspection of troops in Camp Pendleton. Instead, he lead the band in a funky rendition of Send in the Clowns. While the president himself was initially oblivious to the program change, many of staffers objected to song choice, calling it "objectionable" and "disrespectful to the office of the President of the U.S.". Later, the President said "It was the most unfair song choice in the history of music". He referred to the conductor of the renowned Army band, Col. Drake Hardcastle, as "the worst band leader and biggest loser to ever wave one of those conductor sticks".
- Stars and Stripes
A luxury yacht belong to Russian Oligarch Maksim Volkov mysteriously sunk outside the Port of Nice around 5:00 am today. The yacht was the scene of a raucous party last night that featured the infamous musical act the Drums of Navarone. Fortunately, the band's boat was in the vicinity at the time of incident and was able to rescue several supermodels and 10 cases of Cognac from the doomed vessel. The cause of the sinking is under investigation.
- Riviera Insider